there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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