I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
