The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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