me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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