Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
