garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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