i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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