I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
MIDGETS
????
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
