'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
