i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
now i know why i became what i already was.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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