Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
