??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize