"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
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