in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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