This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
