after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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