Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
