GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
