So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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