would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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