White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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