i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
