I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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