so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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