Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's never too late to be topless.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dick very happy bro
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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