I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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