the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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