I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
