I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
