If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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