At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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