Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
