I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
