thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
