My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
