my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
