I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It's Friday. Sex?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
