Christians are straight up FREAKS
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
