Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
