I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
