What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
