we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What a dumb baby whore.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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