Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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