Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
