do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
