"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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