It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
