You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
