Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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