Little spoons don't ask big questions
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
