i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
