I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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