You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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