pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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