I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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