I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize