I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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