yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
