My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
