This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
