You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
