If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Terrible idea I love it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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