I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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