3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
