actually, I'm a sock model
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
