The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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