Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
