So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
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I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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