Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
